Background, who am I? I am
eric... I AM
ERIC aaaa; I am a m e r i c
a; I am AMERICA!
I AM that I AM... course it’s never been that easy, well maybe it has.
I’ve tried to abbreviate this story before and describe only what is important
for people to know and understand, but that never seems to be very clear, so
now I will explain everything so cut out the pieces you don't
like.... use some discernment!!!
Well it was like last year 2 weeks after my sweet sixteenth
birthday, I was doing about 110mph to avoid a cop when the motorcycle slid out
from under me as I took a turn, and I went flying. Two cops from neighboring
towns nearly collided as they watched the motorcycle hit a curb and fly up to
wrap around some power cables. Lucky me; I just bounced across a parking
lot, with no helmet! I threw that at the cop behind me miles
back.... so I ended up totally black and blue, no broken bones, but
a cracked head and unconscious in a coma.... not sure I wanted to come
back I bet?!?!?
When I got out returning to school that summer the principal said
that if "some explosives from the chemistry lab could magically appeared
in his office," he might be able to get me re-admitted. I figured
that would be good for business, school was all a business to me, being a
master of man’s capitalistic control from the start. Course
I knew one kid who broke into a train car to get hand grenades, and another kid
who made his own nitroglycerin, so I wouldn't miss any missed chem’ lab thing. But I liked my little
pipe bombs and knives, thou I always had my pockets full of plenty else to
sell. But with the accident I had finally been caught. The cops
wanted to try me as an adult, (never been done before to a minor in NJ at that
time) but my dad had the mayor and the chief of police living down the street
and the president of the Lions Club next door; so getting an attorney to get me
off was easy for him.
The cops knew everything then. The bike was hot, and all the
gear on it came from a bank down the road; where they certainly answered the
alarm only to find the place empty at 1am. Still as I was resting behind
a school when a cop drove up to chat, I had to just FLY OFF, stupid move that
ended in the mean accident!!! But nothing was real for me until school
started. Course you can all thank me for the alarms and windows locks in
all the schools now, since nothing like that was around before my
accident. But still worse was walking out into the hallway between
classes now after my infamous accident. For years my prime business hours
were then, but now suddenly things had turned. Now as I walked out into
the hallway, where normally everyone would have cash in hand ready to ask me
for something; NOW the sea of people just parted before me.
Wow, I never remembered anything of the accident or coma, and
wondered how I’d seen the cops nearly crash into each other. But none of
that really phased me; now I was really a ghost, no one would talk to me, no
one dared. I was the focus of attention one moment, everyone anxious to
buy something from me; but now the next moment suddenly I was a ghost.
Everyone feared me, hid from me, avoided me, and certainly never would get
caught talking to me.
Wow, what a wake up call that was. Forget the sweet sixteen
never been kissed fantasies we all heard about for those upper-middle class
spoiled kids growing up in the American Northeast. I’d first been kissed
in kindergarten! Had the cutest prettiest "girlfriend" through
the elementary years, and then got INTO another...
"Experimenting" the summer I left elementary school. Then suddenly
everyone was sex happy, and considered me the expert? But, I had my one
taste deep inside some girl that summer and would never again until leaving
high school. I guess I always saw women as the Goddesses and couldn't
bring myself to contaminating them???
But men were trash anyway, always competing and greedy like capitalism
teaches them. The one who exploited me in those elementary years, milked
me anytime I wanted for years (don't ask... lol...)
He was the town supplier for the best drugs and his brother was the coke
hound... Which gave me another inside track for high school sales of
course... lol.. AGAIN!!!
My dad was ex-military and moved into the most densely populated
state in the country to take the train into The City everyday. We got
there from Puerto Rico after my younger sister was born. My older brother
and I both spoke span-glish so my mom was anxious to
get us ready for school. She made sure my
brother was reading and writing English really well when he started
school. So when it was my turn to start in school, all the teachers
said "Another Weaver, oh no, he knows everything already"....
Hey I couldn’t disappoint them; I made sure everyone of these teachers knew I
was boss! They would fail me and complain, but not one kept me back a
grade, they just wanted me out.
By the time high school came along, I bought and sold everything,
broke into anywhere and really was all powerful and fearless..... since no one had a clue about it all. BUT then the
accident changed all that.
YES, I WAS PISSED, like really pissed about it all. I felt
like I had only done what was in front of me and took advantage of all that I
ever saw. That’s what capitalism is all about, every book, TV and Radio
teaches this. Heck, why was it there; if
not for me to exploit it. Certainly the greed and control I saw
everywhere only encouraged me more. NOW, after my accident, it was
all gone; I was alone and really pissed off about it.
So then I heard something about GOD! Yea sure, sounded like
another con job, more BS from our corrupt culture trying to exploit me.
My Mom always warned me about voices in my head. She was psychic and into
Edgar Casey a lot. She warned me how spirits could pretend to be of the
Light and with drugs I was like an open target! Now I was totally alone
and could hear everything inside of me, so I would ALWAYS confront it.
Mom said that anything of the Light would respond to the name of God.
Jesus Christ was easy for me... what better WAY to start... lol. So anytime I heard anything inside of me,
it would vanish at the name of Jesus Christ!
But then it didn't!
I was told to read the “Prodigal Son” story. Oh sure I
remember that, I’ve heard all this bible BS before,
more capitalism trying to control. But this time the voice stayed;
it didn't vanish when I asked for Jesus Christ... Then I was told that I
WAS a Prodigal Son!
WHAT? Who me, lol, sure I guess I
exploited everything given to me! Burned it all up too, nothing escaped
my wrath...lol.... Ok SURE, I’ll buy that, so
I’m the Prodigal Son... exploited all my father gave to me and now I’ve come
back home, seems like I get some big party now, like the best little calf
roasted for me since I came back home.... isn't that the story!!!
“Yes Son, but you must not steal or lie anymore”
“Oh sure that’s easy, no one believes me anyway now. With everyone watching me; stealing would be pretty stupid now. Sure I can go along with this, come back ‘home’ and be an ‘honest Joe’... no big deal, but forget the little calf, I want a FAT RAM!!! Yea, seems like after all I got away with and went through to get here, there must be something more to this. I mean, saved my ass from a mean motorcycle accident so if You are for real... I want a Fat Ram!!!”
“OK Son, but you must not steal or lie anymore”
“Oh sure easy... lol... but I know I wont get some four legged hairy critter, Fat Ram or not, so what exactly will I get if I play the good boy routine for some Source Spirit chatting in my head?”
“Dream about IT”
For two years I dreamed, and I played the good little boy.
Never did so well in school in my life. I started to journal all the
time, this chatter in my head was like a party. No one else would talk
with me, and I really wanted to write about these strange voices I heard and
all they would tell me. “I can see a new horizon underneath the blazing
sky; I’m gonna be your man in motion ....” (St
Elmo's Fire on the Radio now)
The week before it ended I was sitting by a window eating lunch
writing in my book. I wrote about this cute girl I saw driving by in a
pickup truck. I always analyzed everything. I was thinking, wow it
would be neat to have a girl who drove a truck. I was still on my bike,
after the motorcycle thing they wouldn’t let me get my drivers license for
years. So having a girl who drove a truck would be so cool, I could throw
my bike into the back. Of course what else would a lonely teenage boy
dream about? GIRLS!!!! Course that only made the chatter in
my head excited too!
And then I met her!
WOW.
She drove a little red
Mary and I moved into the house and the fantasy only went off the
deep end. She worked part time at Lord & Taylor’s and I worked as a
Handyman fixing houses whenever I wanted to. We were alone in this big
house playing around all day, taking time to nap and shower, but then back
again loving ever second of it.... lol...
Soon she wanted a child! Eeek,
wake up call!!! A child, raise a child as a Handyman? Are you
crazy? Shit what do I do now? So I decided this lazy
afternoon, when she left for work, to sit and read through my
journals.... and read and read and reread....
HOLD it, this all happened to me. Here I was reading about
some fantasy of a woman I wanted, and then here I was living it. Oh my
God, it was really freaking me out. Everything I wanted, everything I
dreamed about for 2 years; was all here in the bedroom each night. Even
the really far out fantasies of strawberries and whipped cream. Course
the pickup truck is the easiest to remark about... but two years of
fantasies is really intense.
"You got your Fat Ram Son...."
Yea right... Suddenly I realized it... I HAD GOTTEN MY
FAT RAM!!!! Like I got everything I dreamed about and it was all spewed
out before me like I had made my three wishes on a genie bottle. But it
was more like 300 wishes. So I read and read and reread.... and
that night over indulged again in the pleasures of the flesh, I sat up to look
and see, wow it was more than I imagined. Cleaner, prettier, sweeter than
I could ever dreamed of. Like sure I dreamed of the thin, fine form in
lace... lol... but she worked at Lord & Taylor's which sets the standards on the best of
lace! It was like the genie was drunk
and spilled out every wish, every wild little detail, all of it spread out before
me like a spoiled brats smorgasbord.
The next morning I really had to come to terms with this!
God wasn't just fooling around with me. I'd really gotten my Fat Ram, so
now what??? And my experiences of life and death weren't just some weird
event people write books about. There was something more to this, and I
needed to find out. So as I read over my journals again and again the
phone rang.
"Good Morning"
"Oh hi dad, what do you want now?"
"Well I still want you to go to college, and your Mom and I decided that our business is doing well enough for us to move back to the tropics. You know your Mom hates the snow and cold up here. So we got out a map and started looking for a major airport in the tropics where I could still travel and work as I need to."
"Yea, so where are you going?"
"We found a brand new airport in Tampa Florida, and your brother is going down to set up an office address now and start at a university there. And I thought I might be able to get you to help us pack up and have a garage sale for us to move. Then if you want, you can come to Tampa with us and go to college down there."
"Oh so you want to hire me to help you move?"
"Well sure we can, but maybe we can give you room and board, instead of just paying you. Then we can send you down to visit your brother for a week and see if you want to go to college down there?"
"Oh ok?!?! Let me get back to you on this...."
"Fine, but we want to get down there during the summer so your younger brother and sister can get ready to start high school"
"Ok, I'll talk with you tomorrow about it"
That night when Mary got home from work, she asked about having a
baby again and getting married. I told her I couldn't support a child as
a Handyman, and I really did need to go to college. She said she was
ready to have a child now, and really couldn't wait any longer her clock was
ticking.....
The next morning I went to my dad's and started a garage
sale. It lasted about a full month. The last week I was giving
things away, but I cleaned out a ton. I soon was living at my dad's house
again and visiting Mary a few times back at her parents' house too. Her
parents weren't too thrilled about her leaving home for a "handyman"
either, so I could see it was likely better for both of us.
Now I was "alone again" journaling. These voices
in my head made their case clear. Obviously I needed to take them a bit
more seriously now. I mean, a Fat Ram fantasy wasn't the first experience
I had of "getting what I asked for." I wanted to test and
experiment with it more and found over and over again how much power and truth
there was in it all. I mean, I totally freaked myself out a few times,
manifesting and making people move and do things. Finally I told them I
didn't like any of the fantasy angel stuff. If they wanted me, here on
earth doing something for them, I wouldn't tolerate any fantasy spacey alien
crap. I was here in the now and would only help out if I stayed in the
NOW and not floating around with all this other crap!
It was this "team" coaching me. And it was really
weird because they evidently didn't get too many people listening to them at
this time. So I would tease them too. Sure they wanted me to
write and listen, so I had the advantage.... I was here in NOW and could
do it for them!!! So I wanted to know everything, how things worked and
how it could all work better... they started here: http://www.geocities.com/stars2man/images/equation.jpg
and it only got crazier from there....
They even asked me to publish all I wrote. I just laughed, and told them to find a journalist, I was here to DO something not just write about
it.
Down the road from Mary's house was this little college pub.
We would go dancing there all the time. One night I was having a beer and
some comic was harassing this poor guy in the front. The guy had a dark
tan up here in NJ where it was still too cold out, so the comic was asking him
questions. And I heard him say he went to USF, the same university in
Tampa that I was going to visit next week. So I went over to talk to the
guy.
"Yes I go to school in Tampa. When you get there, find
the Sig-Ep Fraternity; we always have the biggest
parties. And just say you're with Jersey Frank.... "
That's when I realized whatever God wanted me to do... was
in a University.... IN TAMPA!!!! And I knew I had to do
it! Cause I could do anything!!!! The university is the only
place you can really interact with all segments of our society and
culture.... to influence and CHANGE them...
The next week IN Tampa... I took my brothers bike from his
apartment and road out to USF. Wow, what a place... felt like an
amusement park. Of course Busch Gardens is next door too... lol... which IS a big amusement park. Yes, USF
=> University of Sun and Fun.... lol...
The first thing I noticed was the songs on the radio would sing to
me.... like mirroring how I felt every moment. That was weird
(still happens now). THEY told me I could adopt "God's
Perception" and everything would click like that. And the more I did
the weirder it got. At this time the Fraternities could have big keg
parties out in the lawn in the middle of the campus. Soon they had
a limit on the number of kegs, but with those big beer trucks who could ever
tell which kegs were to be used or not.
And Jersey Frank was like the football star quarterback.
Lucky me! It honestly felt like high school again, before my
accident.... like being right in the middle of everything,
everyone looking up to me all over again. Lol,
and these clowns down here were just starting out... just learning how to
do all that I over-did up north.
It was like a time-warp. NOW the fun really
began!!!!!!!!
I AM in Tampa 1982 let's start: http://stars.dyndns.info/homestead/files/Dreams.htm
replace "dreams" with: start.htm, Transit.htm, Farming.htm, Community.htm,
Science.htm, DEGREE.htm
End of ME chapter ONE!
All the children say we don't need another hero... we don't need
to know the way home... all we need is life beyond.... we will all
understand!! we don't need another
hero... we don't need to know the way home...
Tina Turner "Thunder Dome"
HEADER for original Email "INTRO"
From: 
"erix" <erix@t...>
Date: Sun Dec 7, 2003 8:16
pm
Subject: Re: [starchildawakening] Re: storytime/long story
I dream and vision constantly ... and when nothing else
works then I know I'm not fully into myself. Why do I need to write about
myself again? What do I need to remember and come to terms with? Do
I really wanna take over the world? Is that what I see in front of me
over and over again? Course it's easy to exaggerate, but what's God
about anyway?
Alaphaville "Big in
Yes, there's a reason and everything will happen because I'm big in this
land. And I know I can do it all. And I see little pieces over and
over again. Diverse pieces coming together from all directions...
I'm on a Mexican radio... lol... Wall of
Voodoo. "I understand just a little, no comprehende,
just a little"...
And my veins pump full of this vibration from the radio and I see and know I
can move and rock all over the place completely spontaneous. I know who
to see and what to do for getting anything done at this university. And I
know they want to link the fiefdoms into a new learning model, some schooling
system that RUNS the bureaucracy instead of being controlled by it.... ie = stars usa
inc!
The same dream!!! The same vision!!! Same exact things
over and over again in my heart and soul!!! Like I could have had
my accident yesterday!!!
FUCK PRODIGAL'S SON??? WHAT'S THAT!!! WHO THE FUCK
CARES; AND WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO NOW? SURE I CAN DO ANYTHING, THAT
WILL NEVER CHANGE! If You want it done, I know I can do it... since all
creation will help and guide me to total success.... lol....
all I need to do is keep stepping through these open doors, and have FAITH IN
YOU!!!... lol... IN ME!!! I
am eric...
So what's the truth in Spiritual
Conquest? Who really is in CHARGE? Is it anything beyond us?
What if all there was spins around endlessly in cycles starting at one point
only to spin through all the options and return to the same point again...
bigger and stronger. Every birth and evolution is all about this!!!
Each time we spin round, each birth, each incarnation, every single one of us
gets better and better more into the Source.
So what are we building now? Information
systems. Systems to share and express truth and love!
Same old, same old ...BOOM!! What did we create
family for? What did we create towns for? What did we create cities for? What
did we create states for? What did we create schools for? What do we create
for? What do We need to create for? ALL to SHARE and GROW!
Do I really TALK to anyone else? Is this all just really
part of me... struggling, pushing... praying anxious for me
to BE ME!!! The voices in my head never stop... Limahl
Never Ending Story..... on the radio
now!!!!